Biscuits and Gravy
by Exquisiteliltart
Summary: Regina has been the reigning and undefeated queen of Storybrooke's annual biscuit and gravy cook-off competition, but this year she's in for a challenge. Written for SQ Week "Jealousy" prompt.


" _Full fed yet I still hunger  
Torn inside  
Haunted I tell myself, yet I still wander  
Down, inside, its tearing me apart" ~ __**Biscuit by Portishead**_

…

A/N: This one is short, but I do have some more longer stories coming up for SQ week! Thanks to spacedementia55

….

"Oh my God….it's so rich and creamy, I want more!" Emma was screaming and in Regina's opinion, she was making a scene in front of the town.

"Emma, a word, now!" Regina swiftly strolled around the picnic table and grabbed Emma's fork out of her hand.

Emma glared at her for just a moment to get her point across clearly, and then swatted her away. Without her fork, to shovel food in her mouth, she simply readjusted and used her fingers to scoop gravy onto half a biscuit, topping it with the other half and making a sandwich.

"Little busy, Regina."

Regina snarled and slammed her fist down on the table causing everyone else sitting at it to jump. "Emma, tear your face away from that greasy biscuit and accompany me behind the port-o-potty row. Now."

"What could you possibly need from me that can't wait the 15 seconds that it will take me to eat Granny's magical biscuit?" Emma spoke angrily around the mouthful of biscuit she had snagged in-between syllables.

Looking down at Emma's plate, Regina's head drooped in defeat. She breathed out a soft sigh and lifted her head to look across the park at the big banner advertising the "Biscuit and Gravy Cook-Off." Beneath it sat the two tables holding the entries: on the right side was Regina's award winning homemade biscuits and sage gravy. There were still trays of biscuits sitting out along with a huge cauldron of the gravy.

On the left side: Granny's entry. She had never won the biscuits and gravy contest in 28 years of the curse, but yet every year she kept trying. Since the curse broke and Granny got cable, she was opened up to the joys of the Food Network and quickly found herself an idol in one, Miss Paula Deen.

Regina stormed off, leaving Emma alone with Granny's biscuit. She pursed her lips and feigned like she was arranging her table and pushing more biscuits to the forefront. In actuality, she was spying on Granny and Ruby, working hard to make more gravy, as their first batch was almost gone.

Everyone in Storybrooke was going gaga over Granny's gravy.

"Lard. That's the key, sweetheart, don't be afraid to make lard the star!"

Regina shook her head in disgust. As mayor it was her duty to promote wellness in her citizens and keep hospital costs down. Since Granny had become infatuated with Southern cooking, hospital visits due to cardiac related events had skyrocketed.

She fought the urge to grab the edge of Granny's bare biscuit table and overturn it out of spite. Just as her magic was starting to simmer hot in her hands, Emma came galloping into her field of vision.

She was smiling and walking quickly toward Granny.

"Fresh batch is almost ready, Sheriff."

"Ms. Swan!" Regina cut Emma off at the pass and they ended up nose to nose. Emma blinked at her and threw her a look. "Why don't you have a plate of my biscuits and gravy? You don't have to pretend to like Granny's, and besides…" Regina pouted out her lip and drew a seductive line down Emma's forearm with her index finger. "I know you love my biscuits."

"Regina…" Emma started off apologetically, already looking past her and over to Granny's table as she smiled and added an extra dollop of gravy to Leroy's plate as a line formed behind him. "It's nothing personal, but I just really love Granny's gravy."

"How dare you!" Regina's face grew red with anger. "Traitor! After all I've done for you? How many family nights have Henry and I have forced down your burned boxed mac and cheese or gritty cherry pop tarts?"

Emma drew herself up to full height and held her ground, "First off, you said that my cherry pop tart was a special treat…but that's beside the point."

Emma poked her finger out accusingly, but then softly wiped at the little smudge of flour on Regina's cheek. "What? Granny's gravy is tangier and chunkier...it's just personal preference. Don't be mad, Regina."

Lowering her voice, as Hook walked by with a plate of Granny's food, Regina followed him with her eyes and then turned back to Emma. "It's just hard to watch you fawning and practically moaning over a buttery biscuit that isn't mine."

Emma shrugged in apology, "Sometimes people just like something different, the town has been happily eating your gravy and biscuits for years without complaint, but Granny really stepped up this time around. Don't you think her biscuit deserves recognition?"

Before Regina could answer, Hook sidled up to Emma and bumped her with his hip. "Hello, Lass…" he smirked and waggled his eyebrows, before suggestively biting into a biscuit and tearing off a big chunk with his teeth. "Regina, I must say your biscuit tastes quite similar to your Mother's. Ah, you wouldn't think it, but old Cora's gravy had a certain spice and her biscuits were a bit salty. I quite miss it at times."

"Shut up!" Regina screamed as she balled her fists. "Don't you talk about my mother's biscuits!"

"What? I only have compliments; you were from the southern part of the Enchanted forest where the folks knew how to make honest gravy. Simple is better…and I should know, I've had the biscuits of all the realms during my travels, and Regina, your mother's biscuits were comparable."

"Yes, well. Not that's it's your business, but I do use certain aspects of her recipe…though my gravy is a bit thicker as I drain off the excess grease before I serve it."

"She does," Emma chimed in with a nod. "I hate when there is too much gravy on my biscuit… it gets all over my face and chin."

Hook filled his mouth with another biscuit and started talking, "I once had the mermaid's biscuits and gravy. They used a crab and seaweed gravy, it was actually quite delicious."

"No one cares about sea biscuits," Regina crossed her arms and Hook finally stepped out from between them.

She watched him bypass her table and go back for more of Granny's. Her expression betrayed her. Emma's gravy induced fog was starting to clear, "Hey, Regina…just remember, the novelty of Granny's biscuit is going to wear off, but I'll always love your biscuits the best, you know?"

"You really love my biscuits?" Regina sniffled as she searched Emma's eyes.

"I love everything about your biscuits and I can't get enough of your gravy."


End file.
